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Grief reactions associated with the death of an LGBTIQ+ partner

Some lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, or queer people have supportive birth families who recognise their queer relationships. In this instance, they may have the support of their family as they experience grief after the loss of a partner. Other people, however, have complex or challenging relationships with their birth families and instead rely on the support and love from their community. Some, unfortunately, are not able to seek support at all due to social isolation or being ‘in the closet’ or not yet ‘out.

It is important to keep in mind that the people within LGBTIQ+ communities are not all the same but are people with a range of different and varied experiences. Nonetheless, most members of these communities will face additional things that cause stress within their grief journey. For example:

  • some gay or queer relationships are not recognised at all by the family members they grew up with, which means that a partner may not be included in the funeral arrangements or grieving period. They may not be fully recognised as being an important part of the deceased’s life in the way that a straight partner would be. This can be very distressing and lead to unrecognised or hidden grief
  • if a bereaved partner is not ‘out’, or openly identifying as LGBTIQ+, they may be hesitant to seek formal or informal support in their grief journey. Even if a person is comfortable disclosing their sexuality or gender identity, it is well known that people within this community face heteronormativity (that is, assumptions that all partnered or sexual relationships are made of a man and a woman) and homophobia when seeking help. These things can include people making assumptions about the gender of a partner, being confused about the status of a relationship, asking inappropriate/irrelevant questions about a person’s sexual practices, family structure, or gender status, or showing fear, dislike, or aggression in interactions with the bereaved person. When things like this happen, it can cause further distress and lead to a hesitance in looking for help in the future
  • the death of a partner may be the first time that family or other supports become aware of this important relationship. This may inadvertently reveal a grieving individual’s sexual or gender identity to family or others. Managing the ‘coming out’ process whilst also grieving can be incredibly stressful and isolating
  • as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and queer relationships and identities are sometimes misunderstood or invalidated, the level of grief associated with this loss may not be recognised
  • the lack of historical financial and legal recognition of non-heterosexual relationships or of relationships involving people who are non-binary/gender fluid (who don’t identify as exclusively male or female) or non-cisgender (whose gender identity differs from that assigned at birth) may lead to complications around next of kin and wills or estate processes
  • the cause of death may be particularly relevant to individuals within the LGBTIQ+ communities, such as suicide, AIDS or homicide. Due to ongoing discrimination and oppression, this community also faces rates of unnatural death higher than those of the general population (particularly the transgender and gender-varied communities). Sometimes, these causes of death can increase feelings of being alone and vulnerable in the bereaved as they face stigma or at times insensitive curiosity from others in the general population

Coping With The Death Of A LGBTIQ+ Partner

  • because it is likely that a bereaved partner will have previously experienced homophobia or heteronormativity, it is important that family, friends, and services providers show their unquestioning acceptance of LGBTIQ identities and relationships to promote help-seeking behaviour. For service providers, this can include actions such as displaying a pride flag sticker, using gender neutral language or asking for preferred pronouns, and adding an ‘other’ box on forms asking for gender information (or removing the need to ask for gender at all if not relevant)
  • a grieving partner may be able to participate in a separate memorial service with supporting community and family
  • services specific to LGBTIQ+ people may be relevant to provide support

Other Resources

Solace Australia: South Australia Barossa Valley Solace Group  

 

Page last updated: 9 December, 2019

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  115. My developer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on numerous websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  116. Hi there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  117. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the images on this blog loading? I’m trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

  118. Hey just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your post seem to be running off the screen in Opera. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The design and style look great though! Hope you get the problem solved soon. Cheers

  119. Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read anything such as this prior to. So nice to locate somebody with many original ideas on this subject. realy i appreciate you for starting this up. this fabulous website is one area that is needed online, someone with a bit of originality. helpful purpose of bringing a new challenge towards web!

  120. It’s difficult to acquire knowledgeable folks for this topic, nevertheless, you appear to be guess what happens you are talking about! Thanks

  121. Good post and right to the point. I don’t know if this is in fact the best place to ask but do you people have any ideea where to hire some professional writers? Thank you

  122. Aw, it was an exceptionally nice post. In thought I would like to put in place writing such as this moreover – taking time and actual effort to manufacture a good article… but what things can I say… I procrastinate alot by no means appear to get something completed.

  123. I was very delighted to locate this web-site. I wanted to many thanks for your time for this fantastic read!! I definitely taking pleasure in every bit of it as well as I have you bookmarked to take a look at brand-new things you post.

  124. Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  125. Hi there would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working with? I’m planning to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a hard time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

  126. Hola! I’ve been following your weblog for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Lubbock Tx! Just wanted to tell you keep up the great job!

  127. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Ie. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The design look great though! Hope you get the problem resolved soon. Cheers

  128. Good day! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You have done a marvellous job!

  129. An intriguing conversation is worth comment. I believe that you should write much more on this topic, it could not be a frowned on subject but generally people are not enough to talk on such subjects. To the next. Thanks

  130. I’m curious to find out what blog platform you happen to be using? I’m experiencing some minor security problems with my latest website and I’d like to find something more safe. Do you have any solutions?

  131. Hey there! I’ve been reading your site for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Kingwood Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the great job!

  132. Appreciating the time and energy you put into your website and in depth information you provide. It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same out of date rehashed material. Great read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  133. Whats up this is kinda of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding knowledge so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  134. Hey there! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 4! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the superb work!

  135. I am curious to find out what blog system you are utilizing? I’m experiencing some small security issues with my latest blog and I would like to find something more secure. Do you have any solutions?

  136. Greetings! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when browsing from my iphone. I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to resolve this issue. If you have any recommendations, please share. Cheers!

  137. Howdy! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us beneficial information to work on. You have done a wonderful job!

  138. Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any points or suggestions? Appreciate it

  139. I am really loving the theme/design of your web site. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility issues? A handful of my blog visitors have complained about my blog not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera. Do you have any recommendations to help fix this problem?

  140. Do you have a spam issue on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; many of us have developed some nice methods and we are looking to swap solutions with others, be sure to shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  141. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely donate to this brilliant blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

  142. Hi, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any help is very much appreciated.

  143. Today, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  144. Hey! I realize this is somewhat off-topic however I needed to ask. Does operating a well-established blog like yours require a large amount of work? I’m brand new to blogging but I do write in my diary daily. I’d like to start a blog so I can share my experience and feelings online. Please let me know if you have any kind of suggestions or tips for brand new aspiring blog owners. Thankyou!

  145. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

  146. Great blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any tips? Thank you!

  147. Hey there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having difficulty finding one? Thanks a lot!

  148. Hi! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa? My website goes over a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you might be interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Great blog by the way!

  149. Aw, this was a really nice blog post. In concept I would love to put in creating similar to this in addition? requiring time and real initiative to make a great article? yet what can I say? I procrastinate alot and by no means seem to obtain something done.

  150. Hello exceptional blog! Does running a blog such as this take a lot of work? I’ve virtually no understanding of programming but I had been hoping to start my own blog in the near future. Anyhow, should you have any ideas or techniques for new blog owners please share. I know this is off topic nevertheless I simply wanted to ask. Cheers!

  151. Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a 40 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  152. This design is steller! You definitely know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  153. Howdy! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this post to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

  154. Hello! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips or suggestions? With thanks

  155. Hey just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your post seem to be running off the screen in Ie. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The style and design look great though! Hope you get the problem solved soon. Many thanks

  156. Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this site. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very hard to get that “perfect balance” between usability and appearance. I must say you’ve done a very good job with this. In addition, the blog loads super quick for me on Firefox. Superb Blog!

  157. This is the right blog site for any person who wants to find out about this topic. You recognize so much its virtually difficult to say with you (not that I in fact would want?HaHa). You most definitely put a brand-new spin on a subject thats been blogged about for several years. Fantastic things, just terrific!

  158. When I initially commented I clicked the -Inform me when new comments are included- checkbox as well as now each time a remark is included I get four e-mails with the same remark. Exists any way you can eliminate me from that solution? Many thanks!

  159. Youre so trendy! I don’t expect Ive read anything like this before. So great to find somebody with some original thoughts on this subject. realy thank you for beginning this up. this site is something that is needed on the internet, somebody with a little originality. beneficial job for bringing something brand-new to the web!

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  163. This is the best blog site for anybody who intends to learn about this subject. You realize a lot its almost hard to say with you (not that I really would want?HaHa). You most definitely put a brand-new spin on a subject thats been written about for several years. Fantastic stuff, just great!

  164. Youre so great! I do not expect Ive read anything like this prior to. So good to find somebody with some original thoughts on this subject. realy thank you for starting this up. this internet site is something that is needed on the web, someone with a little originality. beneficial work for bringing something brand-new to the web!

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  166. Oh my benefits! a fantastic article guy. Thank you However I am experiencing issue with ur rss. Don?t understand why Not able to sign up for it. Is there any individual getting identical rss trouble? Any individual who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

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